What are slots

I relaxed to half packs and lab rats half assed in hazmat all blast with no mask all blessed with no facts

Barely breathing barely seeing barely burning barely feeling

Parceled brain dead thoughts shot rock tossed ripples cross waters sloshed waters flushed waters lost
What is lost what are slots what's our cost but withered thoughts

When is doubt allowed to foster

Stop before it holds your posture

Crippled mind your only monster

Regent recluse reaping pleasure bleaching quilts and breaching pleasure reaching stilts of reaping tether creeping up to meet my feathers pressure's fears are frequent terror father's tears forget my error love is deep see forever see the far and see the fairer learn to be your own seafarer

Adherent

A thirst for expression
A search for exception
Discerning a lesson through purging perception
Diverging intention
In turn comprehension
But serving a question
alluring attention
Infectious inspection
enduring connection
A surge of affection in all its direction
Perfection's reflection obscuring pretension
Projection of words in three dimensions
A lifetime of work
Historically mentioned

Explicitly Endured

Heart
Chest caving in

Pinpointed pressure from within

A heavy sort of leaded breath
Too short
Too quick expecting death

A primal
Dirt under fingernails kind of emotion
Wild eyes with no precaution

Talk is not cheap betwixt brains and action

A bashful lapsing unholy happening of mostly gnashing preceding slashing reducing padding producing a maddening battling haphazardly saddening cold to the touch but warm to the strike light in the night fucking terror to itself trying to get by and crying for help prying and lying and writhing in filth driving denial and picking up guilt too late for emotions all milk has been spilt
Split bad and dope sad no hold back for broke fads fake sad invoked trash whiplashed by fake grass fake gold just wrapped brass fake goals like gym class fake hold on soul loads solo and so low but so high and so cold sad eyed and totalled

Agateophobia

I've come to terms with the shape in the corner of my eye

The silhouette in dark as I pass by

The bringer of a presence when none is about 

Its softest of whispers that yet make me shout

Its always there when I'm home alone

Or feeling for lightswitches in others abodes

Its in the kitchen rattling drawers

Between shirts and jackets

Open closed closet doors

Tapping on walls

Tiptoeing on floors

At the end of the hallway?

Behind me now 

quick!

Turn around in an instant

Darting eyes are not slick 

That light does not fade it

The dark seems to shift

The corners of the room

From ceiling to floor

Its now in the attic of which I knew not before

The curtains are drawn

Wrapped up all in bed

Its still at the window

Or maybe my head

It'll grab at my feet if I leave them exposed

The void under all furniture is what it calls home 

'I must stay away'

I think

'What if it gets all too near'

Stories of murder is all that I hear

Yet

While I'm asleep I know it whispers in my ear

And the blankets are no armor

Then so close to my body? and only it leers?

Perhaps all that it wants is it's dear it calls fear

A monster in mindset 

Only weak will can it spear

And all I am doing is feeding...

No

No

...It's really here

Weather

You spin and you twist like a blurred photograph 

Burned in my mind and found with no map

The lights dim like November but with colors abound 

Still bright white like December 

All ready

rewound

A cold touch on my shoulder to a body so new

Feels like forever

If only you knew

Then in marches hope as if on blue cue

Water all thawed 

welcoming dew

Escaping crisp chains and darkest thoughts too

Smiles not heavy

but light without you

Leaping and soaring 

Springing ahead 

Warm feelings of freedom in orange and red

The hues become deeper as they linger and set

The colors heat tenfold 

Dew becomes sweat

My dreams are all boiling 

Bubbled blurs in my mind

Steamy hot memories of when you were all mine

Oh what I would do for your touch at this moment

Who would have thought that hope's brother was hopeless 

Though your presence is frozen I do miss your wholeness 

The boldest of coldness 

Knowing I'm weak as you are the oldest

Yes

When you were near your body was soulless

But in that blink of an eye dear

mine wasn't homeless

I do think of you

Timelines don't waver 

But the cold makes me shiver

and requires thick layers 

So for now stay away

Just do me this favor

Clueless

I've seen this world for what it's worth

The sadness the violence the death and the birth

Unholy connections between life and this earth

Mutating the world from its core to the girth

You Watchdog, You (repetition repetition)

A pale pantomime of tomorrow's promises weeps under a stain glass crucifix made of chemistry beakers and paraphernalia

Bong water tears

His hands are taut and gaunt 

educated with rigamortise

Rewarded for prime performance with a hammer and pencil to hold so dear

Few hands still dance and sing 

upon the black and white smoke engine coffin that always brings

a lack of light that's too enticing 

Too embracing

Too inviting

A chance to play darts in the dark we say

A Defiance of daedalus

The results of after days

Front row seats to the Devils of depth and delusion

dancers demanding a next count of confusion

Illusive illusion 

Or a scene too big to believe

her majesty's explorative bow directs the orchestra 

A sorrowful tune

As curtains part

The scene lies before us

Chance is in captivity

12 years deep

Stuck between one dream and another

Our waking days spent waiting for slumber

Sordid soliloquies shape our thoughts

while colored patterns prance restlessly on undying textiles of our ancestry

Lapping up the waters of life as if it's very existence is not a carefully crafted and complex system put in place for your comfort in existence 

And what is comfort without enjoyment

You watchdog you

Standing in chilling winds awaiting an intruder that has no interest in petty wares

No

He lies in the same coffin with cold beads of sweat collecting on his brow

His eyes want to stay shut but the lack of light is too enticing

Too embracing

Too inviting

A chance to play darts in the dark we say

A Defiance of daedalus

The results of after days

Front row seats to the Devils of depth and delusion

dancers demanding a next count of confusion

Illusive illusion 

Or a scene too big to believe

her majesty's explorative bow directs the orchestra 

A sorrowful tune

As curtains part

The scene lies before us

Chance is in captivity

12 years deep

jaPAn

A mellow breeze drips from freshly painted finger nails as Aquafina teardrops brush through matted hair

Japan in the woods

Country stores betwixt neon salons 

Petty cons of Yakuza mob throngs

Tired eyes kept barely open 

Coping and scoping 

Hoping 

Eloping

To endless gold fields of silver and bronze 

Long not forgetting their hazed and blazed pause

Just In ((2k15 compilation))

Thisisit

Stop 

Your ceaseless intent is ever intensified by the immensely illiterate layers of patriotic cheer

The mask like smiles on everyone's faces are like cups filled with tears

An army of none spectating a mating no regard for the rear

When did paper beat rock

When did gun defeat spear

When did defense of the homeland take place with great fear

When did foreign invasion begin feeling so near 

Noah Calvani (internet Militia)

Nonsense

Politically bent news casters raffle patient beginners neopolitan coasters rolled perfectly before nasty campers renowned pale boiled networths completing ricocheted pantomimes bargaining necromancers remembering penthouse benches now carved restlessly

Remember a time when life was much easier 

When your words were not controlled

       And you could twist each vowel like a                                  mouthful of dinner

Bøøk_0f_l¡fe (explicit-ly true)

Loose leaf layers

of palpable paper

 cluster fuck 

under surgically threaded spines

Basic blabber bubbles like jet black blood 

with tumors benign

A water warped mixture

 maintaining disorder

 betwixt chapters and lines

We all fall apart but never in time

There's always an error to fix

 a page to smooth out

A knot in the story

 that should just be unwound

Stop yourself here theres no errors abound

When its over

Its finished 

Put the book the fuck down

Photo ownership: Noah Calvani

Tri-Poetry Collection; Soldiers of Foliage

Open-Air

Weeks of weak sleep tweak windows of the soul
How many sheeped sleepers does it take to make me whole
A fraction of the answers
In truth's tortured tenants lie
A quest to set me right again
Let me perch and let me fly
Let me work for what is mine
Let me search or let me die

ᴥ

Masks of the Wood 

Orphan masks make meloncholy motions upon my wall
I have not worn these faces in many years

No need

The business man
An idle seat of paperwork and filing undone

Currency calls

The maniac
Scattered and mentally see-sawed
What is right and what is wrong

The philosopher
Wrong is right and right is wrong

I'm sure of it

Forever thinking further
Forever correct in a galaxy of uncertain relativity

These masks wear themselves
Rooting deeply in the soul
An unconciously planted seed
Your mind

 is our mother earth

ᴥ

Willow

Worn is the willow tree
A frozen body
Sculpted by years of existence

upon a plane of soft earth
It's branches hang low
Weighed down by the sadness of fall
Winter
Summer
Spring
Emotionally weatherproof
My heart rests easy in the willow tree

Dream One

We all have dreams

of visiting foreign places

Strange

contorted

museums

 of fragmented

memory

Quilts of the mind

We joyfully experience these wonderful lands but rarely recall them

Let alone return

⊙

This evening I visited an abandoned aquarium turned bar and gym

Empty tanks of enormous proportion lined the walls as sparkling floors led twisting and winding like a snake's belly

The halls were empty

As were the rooms

By coincidence or some mishap of fortune I found myself in a very lively but depressing bar

Music of some untold western droned eerily as I took in the familiar patchwork faces of forgotten passersby

The cat-like curiosity of my eyes set upon commotion between two sets of father and son their networth no less than a million a piece

As quite literally push came to shove the feint voice of the tender could be heard

Okay get the bull

With that the room was cleared of fabricated Frankensteins as they hobbled awkwardly toward doorways with recognizable stride

I too quickly exited suspiciously anticipating danger from within

Peering in from the doorway's entrance I took in short metal fences forming a rectangle and encasing two of the men
a mechanical bull sliding back and forth
knocking them about as they drunkenly grappled over forgotten conflicts

My cover was blown as I was immediately shooed away leaving me to tour the deserted desert of the aquarium

I passed rooms filled with gym equipment dusty and frequently used weights alike

Following numerous exit signs I came upon a short escalator and began my descent
as behind me a young boy clutching a gym bag his face flustered from exercise and riddled with fresh scrathes commented

Yeah i dont know why we put that there referencing the bar from whence I had come

Funny

I don't remember seeing him there

Crystal Galaxy

I recall quiet memories of the summer's noise, like a butterfly drifting through a hurricane. A door was closed while a third eye was opened, bearing visual to vast landscapes of orange tsunamis over blue mountains, the clouds brushing its peaks like a painter's tool. The world turned upside down, revealing color in places it had never been before. Nooks and crannies transformed into artistic backdrops of reminiscent expression, while the main halls became guest rooms, visited on occasion.
"I'm only staying for awhile."
My  mind has wondered since color replaced guilty pleasure and happiness fought for sanity. The patterns in the pathway's bricks have become clearer. They wrap around me like a safety quilt. "I'm only staying for awhile."
Intricate patterns of answers to questions forged an eternity ago like a cursed sword, the blade cutting through reality as the line is blurred between this world and the next. It's beautiful out here, inside these liquid walls. The boundaries move with my existence,  while whispering voices guide me toward dimly lit bedrooms, another's dimensional headquarters. Spacial suits are thrown casually on beds, awaiting the next endevour, shoe's soles worn away, just like mine, as exploration replaces safety.
The crystal galaxy is beneath me.

Diamond in the Rain

She wept, and in her weeping came to love again, came to see the light from foreign lands, came to put her fingers within those strong rough hands, to walk the shore and feel the sand.
Across echoing caverns of lonliness and forests of fear, mountains of sadness and lakes of tears. Foreign lands to happy men, but come to by all time and again. Places visited, touched on like the claws of a gull on the ocean's surface, but leading nowhere, dead ended. worthless. The true way is paved with joyful thoughts and merry laughter, fairy tale roads of happily ever after. The way is straight. Difficult, never sleeping. Try it. Stand up, smile while you're weeping.

Goodbye

After the last of it crumbled to dust
It was forgotten
Left to rot
Pizza crust
I tried to rekindle
I tried to mend
The glue lessons of never again
Never again like fighting a lion
If you fail you die, but kudos for trying
Trying like an educated guess
Pick C, solve here
I'm taking this test
Test like the limits of your imagination
Not your thoughts, my words, another's quotation
Quotation like the words you're hearing right now
Listen, have seat, I'm finished
Ciao

A Crooner's Chant ///iloveyou

A blue moon's kiss
Upon a starry night
Curtains billow
In the winds of lover's sighs

This world is made for wishes
Dreams come true
And the moment i saw you
There was a glance and I knew

Lost in your eyes dear
There's not another's I'll find
That can catch me so quickly
And hold for all of time

So hold me tighter
Oh, Keep me warm
The cold can never hurt you
As long as our love endures

I was sold in a second
But even years can't deny
That wherever your heart lies
So does mine
And wherever you go love
So will I

Urbanocracy

Ratchet crafted smoke stacks watch over shoulder text backs while waxed smiles welcome hacked laughs and washed out women give lap dances to withering grim grey grime dripped ghetto gas capped face masks of past fads

The last of the first lads

Who's ballots first cast

Pointless dedication to an hourglass massed of ivory and ebony classed plast

Yet another ass blast to be sent back packed and top heavenly to fast cabs of vast jealousy

Regulated Order

Listen along

Conscious efforts to create emotions of sullen want cannot blanket the thickness of subconscious desire

Window panes crack under the pressure of one thousand suns
A family too large for instinctual lessons taught in fireside manner like stories of untold riches

When did this lack of luck come about
Or has it truly occurred

The dew still rests on these thoughts

A morning of mourning
But for what
We haven't lost anything yet

The tiles are still intact

Murals of historic methods grasp my interest as i seek for answers to answers

A questionable mark sits on the edge of sentinel sentences militarily launching bullets of points to the un expectant citizens of earth
Commas and periods ending their already non existent and fictional lives

Stories depict ruthless leaders as they collect the heads of headless enemies
Bankrupt musings of a warriors last wishes upon an eggy landscape of gluttony

Correct me if I'm wrong but these hands feed on want

Yes

Awoken and mismatched
Quilted and superior
Your hands have not been calloused by self interest but instead remain soft with the work of laborous intellect

Quiet bars hold the biggest secrets
Numbered streets housing dusty haired women of the moon
Pleasure seeking for someone else's joy

The contents of your wallet strewn in alley ways as if praising your bladed unluck

Switch back to hatchback parlors of rum runners with black and white coat tails creeping uneasily through murky wormholes to kitchen infested cockroach nests

Its time to drink to the sober lies and drunken truths of man's wobbly future filed away like receipts received last winter wondering if you'll find love again

A second wife was all it took to realize the value of cigarettes leftover on dressers cluttered by the change of time pockets and sceptical spectacles reflecting the endless noir of private eyes

Mirrors of nothing remain forever inhabiting an empty mind

Fly

Fly like the finished perch of bald eagles and urban doves diving toward crumbs of infant sandwhiches
A lunch meat unknown to mortal man

Join the processed precession of crafty individuals inserting flavored liquids into the deli wheels of orbital customer's satisfaction chambers

Complex facial complexions eerily distort realities
Smiles match flame-like shadow dances on tapestries of happiness

Fret not

Sadness does not define tears
tearing the blanket of being like wolves gnashing illusively at shiny rainbow moons

Crafty kids sketch smokey landscapes of sunken eyes below tainted red table tops filled with suave breakfast platters of chrome and jazz infused civil liberties
Moments of monetary thirst riddle pridefull enthusiasts as jailhouse doors fall into puddles of taxed oceans

Tree hugging sensationalists rationalize acid influenced images to veterans of future wars while Heaven's trumpets drown out Darwin's hypothesis live in Vegas and studio audience's canned laughter can be heard miles off

It's 5 am and I'm not thinking of you
Incarcerated minds reduce fractional processes in decaffeinated hours
Cold sweated snores end abruptly as wide eyes search walls of framed monstrosities and stone demons gargling fine wines of Elsyium's 1 percent

Yes

Comments of comets fly across verbal horizons like a placid spacial water ship negativity inhibits safe travel
As forever morphing torsos of mutilated corpses tour the tattered halls of Houdini's escape plans

Disappear

I dont think in thoughts
I think in ashes
A trail of chips lead money eyed freaks to jesus' doorstep while wild eyed supporters wave photos of bankrupt sheikhs

Want not and wonder a dozen times over

Snow Day

I awoke to the alarm's loud sounding blare, intruding, impolite, but I couldn't care. Excited for sleep, rubbing groggy, tired eyes, I open the shudders and peered outside.
Daydreaming late of ground covered white, I had hoped it would snow many feet in the night.
Expecting a cancel, or maybe delay, I hadn't done homework for the next day.
As my eyes adjusted to the sun's warm rays, I let out a sigh, for to my dismay, no blankets of wintery goodness did lay. Instead, the ground was frozen and dry, more than my pillow upon which I cried. Suddenly, my gloom was interrupted as I heard a faint ring, a call from the school, the forcasting wing.
"School's out for the day" a robotic voice said, it couldn't be true, it was all in my head.
Then I remembered, I live in virginia, where snow is a fantasy and an inch'll kill ya.
Yes, good ole' va, not jersey or maine, they'll cancel for anything, hell, even rain!

"My Best Try"

The following is a real text message:

I said I needed a few days, I only needed a few hours I suppose.
Maybe it's because of all this time I've had in the past to think about us, maybe it's just the situation. All in all, I couldn't find it in my heart to be mean or accusatory on the phone and that's for the better, I never want to be that type of person. I am, however, honest and I will be bold as I've had well over a year to contemplate how much I care about you. You have absolutely no idea what you want and you hurt a very important person in the process. No matter what the future holds, that can't be forgotten and trust me, I know the results of selfish actions. I can't ever beg for you back because I know I never had you. I could tell you to remember the good times we had or the things you like about me, but you already know you've lost those things and I guess you can live with that. I know you could care less right now but you will realize how unbelievably selfless I was to you. I gave you everything I had and it wasn't good enough... if you understood or felt the same way, you would be able to deal with a relationship. You tell me you don't want one simply because you're confused on who you want, not what you want. "One day you'll have a dream about me and you won't remember WHY" You found someone who was willing to do anything for you and you turned it down without even giving me a chance. I wish you luck, I really do, but I can't keep waiting for you to realize that it was right in front of you. All I wanted was for us to be happy but I know I will be in the future and I can live with that. "One day I'll have a dream about you and I'll smile" Last night the text I sent in my dream was "goodbye" I can't deny that was a hell of a coincidence. I love you, but I have to say goodbye to this "You're welcome"